The Break-up.

I decided to break up with the loves of my life. Yes, I meant it to be plural…I have been carrying on several simultaneous affairs over the past ten years. It was a very difficult thing for me to face the reality that these guys really were not adding to my life at all, but more importantly, they were taking away from it. I was spending way too much money and time on them, trying to uphold a lifestyle that was pretty much ruining my health. The crazy thing is that I have always known that they were no good for me, I just wanted to have a little more fun for a little longer. What can I say? I guess I fell for bad guys.

I couldn’t bear the thought of repeating my story to each one of them and breaking my heart each time, so I decided to employ the band-aid tactic, and tell them all at once. After considering many different locations for a meeting place, I decided the best location was right here in my apartment. A place which I had shared with each of them to the point that they all felt at home here, but a place which was free of any other distractions that might make the breakup any harder than it already was.

Since none of the guys drive, I told them I would pick them all up after work on a Friday. I really felt like I was in control of the situation. I knew each of their little tactics. I had literally meditated on them the night before, so I wouldn’t be caught off guard if any of the guys tried to appeal to my emotions.

There was Jose, whose very name made me weak in the knees, Johnny, who I had only really had a one night stand with, but whom I constantly flirted with, because that one night was so hot. It would seem like I was only attracted to the guys with names beginning with J, but there was the ultimate gentleman, so cool that he went by the initials C.R. like he was the lead role in an eighties soap opera; and then of course my first love, first heartbreak, first everything was Jack.

The guys were silent as I drove back to my apartment. No doubt they were uncomfortable. Over the years I had been very careful not to mix their schedules up so that for the most part they never ran into each other. It was a complex, but necessary juggling act so I could keep my sanity, and of course, to avoid a major brawl which would certainly have made me, as the instigator, very sick.

I sat them all around my coffee table and laid my heart in front of them. I told them that I had had a wonderful ride this past decade, sharing memories, visiting various cities or just relaxing at home. Jose, the most light-hearted of all sat there with a wry grin, taking in my every word. His sheer zest for life made him confident that someone else would snatch him up in no time. My heart ached as I realized how much I would miss dancing with him.

Johnny was apathetic, barely holding my gaze as I spoke. If it wasn’t for his tall lean structure, we might not have noticed he was present. I shook off the creeping feelings of hurt. It was, after all, just one night. C.R. seemed like he was ready for a change of scene. Always dressed sharp in purple, to define his broad shoulders, he always attracted, with the smoothest sexiness. He had never been rough with me, just super smooth and satisfying. Those qualities I would definitely miss.

As I turned to look at Jack, something caught my eye in the corner. It was Martin. I gave a little yelp. He was looking at me in the most accusing manner, because I hadn’t invited him. For the life of me I didn’t know how he had gotten in. Martin and I had had such a bad falling out many years ago, that I had resorted to calling him by his last name in an effort to place as much distance as possible between us.

I decided to ignore his leer and focus my attention on the one that truly mattered…Jack.

Jack had not moved or spoken since we had come to the apartment. He had been staring at the same invisible spot on my coffee table from the moment I had started talking. I yearned to know what was going through his mind. Jack had been there from the beginning. We had shared everything. He had stood by me and helped me grow from a girl into a woman and I really couldn’t imagine what life would be like without him. Of all the guys, my relationship with Jack had been the most passionate. He had taken me to highs I had never dreamed possible and had brought me to depths that I thought would literally suffocate me. I knew my parameters of strength and weakness because of him.

“Jack,” I choked. “Please say something.”

I felt my heart shatter to pieces as his gaze pierced mine.

He stood up.

His square physique enveloped in a black tee.

Then suddenly, his face crumpled into many different emotions as he bellowed,

“What I want to know is, if this is a break-up party, where the fuck is Hennessy?!”